As they say, everything starts with a conversation, but I agree that most are on autopilot, meaning clarity rarely surfaces.
When I read your words, “Naming these tendencies means I use them deliberately rather than leak them by accident.” It reminded me of a founder who told me he encourages his team members to develop a one-page personal ‘user manual.’ So others know how best to engage with them and what to expect.
So what if, before starting a conversation, each of us stated our intent and vibe to the person we were speaking to?
Mine would be... Open, honest, creative and collaborative.
That’s a great idea Des - love the user manual. I will try the stated intent and vibe amuse bouche and report back too! Brilliant! Let’s have a conversation!!
Learning to listen to the "field" between people while bringing in an attitude of reverence to this moment. After all, your entire life led you to read these words.
I guess my vibe is ‘authoritative silence’. Use two ears and one mouth. Only add to the conversation where there is value to be added. Assume nothing, be prepared to back up everything. Only speak to the truth.
Damn - that makes me sound way too boring!
It does tend to result however in people stopping to hear what I have to say. Useful when you are trying to get things done … ideally without too much noise, fluff or distractions.
I blame my time in the military with ‘strategic mission focus’ and changeable objectives in pursuit of that mission then constantly changing tasks to get the job done.
Not boring! That ‘truth’ is what’s creating an atmosphere within which the next part of the conversation can build. If someone added a completely random idea based on hearing your truth what would your reaction be? Oh, and love the idea of authoritative silence. Is that learned or earned?
Nice framing, John.
As they say, everything starts with a conversation, but I agree that most are on autopilot, meaning clarity rarely surfaces.
When I read your words, “Naming these tendencies means I use them deliberately rather than leak them by accident.” It reminded me of a founder who told me he encourages his team members to develop a one-page personal ‘user manual.’ So others know how best to engage with them and what to expect.
So what if, before starting a conversation, each of us stated our intent and vibe to the person we were speaking to?
Mine would be... Open, honest, creative and collaborative.
That’s a great idea Des - love the user manual. I will try the stated intent and vibe amuse bouche and report back too! Brilliant! Let’s have a conversation!!
Sounds good to me!
https://youtu.be/fL3HO0gf0Co
Ah yes, conversation automatically improved when this is the intro!
This note definitely resonated with me. Not sure John meant this but I think that body language goes a long way to bringing about vibes... good or bad
Yes definitely and particularly in real life! A big part of the atmosphere and a key thing to get right!
Learning to listen to the "field" between people while bringing in an attitude of reverence to this moment. After all, your entire life led you to read these words.
Yes and still learning that one and thanks for highlighting that characteristic - if only that were prevalent the world would be a better place.
I guess my vibe is ‘authoritative silence’. Use two ears and one mouth. Only add to the conversation where there is value to be added. Assume nothing, be prepared to back up everything. Only speak to the truth.
Damn - that makes me sound way too boring!
It does tend to result however in people stopping to hear what I have to say. Useful when you are trying to get things done … ideally without too much noise, fluff or distractions.
I blame my time in the military with ‘strategic mission focus’ and changeable objectives in pursuit of that mission then constantly changing tasks to get the job done.
Maybe that is a ‘military vibe’!
Any other ‘vibes’ out there?
Not boring! That ‘truth’ is what’s creating an atmosphere within which the next part of the conversation can build. If someone added a completely random idea based on hearing your truth what would your reaction be? Oh, and love the idea of authoritative silence. Is that learned or earned?
‘Authoritative silence’ mostly earned… I think. Sometimes saying less is more!